A Croissant Compromise

 x-x-x 

You don’t look her in the eye. Sitting at a table for two, you both are enjoying each other’s company. ‘For the last time?’ you ask yourself. You can’t see through her, you can’t seem to break through that wall she puts around herself anymore. It’s been this way ever since that disinterested-in-this-relationship talk you both had. 

“You don’t have to be insecure about it,” you had said. 

“But I do, I don’t appreciate the fact that you take out time for things, and then have absolutely none for me when you come back home,” she had nearly shouted at you. 

“She needed me today,” you’d tried to say. 

“And I don’t?” she’d cut you off. 

“As a friend Jay, as a friend,” your voice had cracked. 

“Fine, whatever,” she had left the dinner table; her meal untouched. 

The pleasant aroma of the sweet cakes, warm coffee and just-out-of-the-oven croissants meant nothing to the either of you now. The Bread World, five minutes from your house had always been your favourite rendezvous point. You still have no idea why you chose it for this particular occasion – or maybe you did. 

You turn your eyes back to her and she’s giving you ‘the look’ again. Your gaping doesn’t help. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, “I was thinking about something and I didn’t hear what you said.” You want to sound apologetic – but you don’t mean it from within. 

“Nothing,” she says. You keep taking her in. She’s fidgeting – some of her fingers are lightly drumming on the mini-table and some are squishing the straw in her glass. 

“I do stuff like this when I’m nervous,” she’d said when you guys had first met. You’d taken her hand in yours and told her that she didn’t have to be nervous around you. She’d smiled back then. Looking at her tucking her hair behind her ear, you notice that she hasn’t been smiling; lately. The smile that you needed at the end of that ‘crappy day’, the smile that made you forget about your stress, that smile that you had promised she would always wear when she was with you. ‘Now it’s gone,’ you think; mostly because it’s your fault. 

‘Everyone gives advice on how to get-the-girl,’ you’re still in thoughts, ‘then one gets caught up on those initial ‘fireworks’ moments, but rarely does anyone talk about how there is the indefinite ‘I’m bored’ phase that’s waiting to happen and crush the people in the relationship. Not many admit that both the parties need to be involved a hundred percent at all times – it can be active or passive but it has to exist, it has to be there.’ 

‘I kissed a girl and I liked it,’ the song playing on the bakery’s home theatre brings you back. She’s glaring at you now. Here goes nothing! 

“Are you going to say something?” she’d finished her cold coffee. 

“Yes,” you say and clear your throat. “As a matter of fact,” you begin, looking straight at her, “I don’t think this is going to work.” You watch as she registers the words you’ve just said. “This thing between us really needs work Jay,” you say, “it can’t go on if you and I stay in different books, forget the same page.” 

“You are breaking up with me,” she says slowly. It wasn’t a question; it was more like realization. Nodding slowly, “Fine,” she says, grabbing her purse, “three years together and you want to leave now; because what? We can’t seem to work our ‘bored phase’ out?” she uses quotes in the air for those last words. You take your eyes off her face, breathe in and feel her move past you. You snap your eyes back open and stand up, wanting to stop her from walking out on the both of you; on this. 

“Jay, I wasn’t asking for a breakup,” you say. She stops but doesn’t turn to face you. You clear your throat again, “I wanted to know if you’re still in this and if you want to be still in this, even seventy or eighty years from now.” You hear her sigh and then she turns. She gasps. You’re on one knee and holding out a velvet box with a ring. You smile as you see her look of shock turn into relief and then into tears. “I love you and I want to keep loving and fighting with you; if you’ll let me,” you nod expectedly at her. Her smile is back. You smile too, as she walks towards you. “Will you marry me Jessica?” you ask. 

“Oh Jenny,” she tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and brushes the now messy, side-swept bangs from your face. “Yes.” You look up at her and see her smile through misty eyes. You slide the ring onto her finger and she pulls you into a kiss. The moment is tender and you’re trembling from relief, but you pull away. 

“Did I just taste my croissant?” you frown.

She laughs, “You weren’t going to finish anyway.”

“Oh, now I intend to,” you kiss her back.

 x-x-x

A Note from the Author: This is attempted completely in second voice which is considered difficult in literature – as far as critiques go. Let me know what you think of this, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it – unless ofcourse you’re homophobic! Sorry, not sorry! 😉